Confident?

 

Confidence is having freedom from unwanted doubts and a strong belief in our abilities and ourselves. Having self-efficacy; our belief in our ability to get things done and succeed.

 

Sometimes we feel that we are on top of the world and nothing can stop us, we are confident and in full flow. When we are confident and self-assured we suffer less stress and worry; we feel that we will cope with whatever problems or challenges are ahead of us. Over time our lives develop and change, new challenges present themselves, maybe a change in our relationships or careers. During these times our confidence and self-esteem may need a boost. If we lose our belief in our resources and abilities, our confidence will be diminished. We may feel that we no longer have the control over our lives we desire and have difficulty accessing the resources we need to cope and succeed. Everyone goes through these "ups and downs" that's just the way life is; in fact I would say that it is hard to know when you are "up" if you haven't experienced being "down".

Our confidence will vary from one task to another. If we believe that we can and will persevere despite our doubts and the views or criticisms from others, then we are more likely to try new things and take calculated risks. We need Mental Toughness to overcome our limitations and challenge any self-imposed boundaries.

 

How can Hypnotherapy help?

Hypnotherapy enhances confidence and reduces stress and anxiety. Our subconscious mind contains all of our experiences and learning, this means that we have a whole storehouse of resources and potential that we can use to help us in the present and the future. We can tap in to all the resources we used in our "up" times and make use of them to dig us out of our down "times". We can use these resources to give us increased confidence in times of need when we face new challenges. The creative subconscious is the greatest force for change known to man. This is because it is here, in the subconscious, that we problem solve and access all of our creativity to find new solutions and ideas. Hypnotherapy gives us a direct line to all these subconscious resources. In hypnosis we can mentally rehearse and test future events and gain confidence and certainty. We can rehearse everything from business presentations to sport, even making a phone call or having a date. During hypnosis we can give ourselves realistic positive suggestions to overcome doubt and worry. The techniques used in hypnotherapy help us to get on track and stay on track.

 

How can Rational Thinking help?

 

Changing the way we think changes the way we feel and act; our emotions and behaviour are a result of our thinking. It is not so much the events and situations in our lives that cause us stress, emotional turmoil and anxiety; rather it is what we think and believe about them.

 

For example if I am attracted to a person but do not have the confidence to approach them or talk to them it may because I hold beliefs that are unhelpful or irrational such as "I must be loved and approved of by everyone and I must avoid disapproval." Beliefs such as these are often held in the subconscious but we act on them consciously. I can change this belief to "I prefer it if people like me, but realistically not everyone will. I can survive even if some people do not like me." The key here is to prefer rather than demand, if my beliefs are like rules that are rigid and inflexible then, there is a very good chance that I will often be upset. By preferring rather than demanding my rules are less rigid and more flexible. Furthermore, my behaviour will change, as I can be realistic that not everyone will reject me and therefore I am more likely to approach someone whom I find attractive.

 

It is also possible that my thinking may be somewhat unhelpful and irrational. I may have thoughts such as "they are bound to dislike me" or "if I talk to them, they will laugh at me and everyone will look." I can dispute these thoughts, as there is no real evidence to support them, I can ask myself "where is the proof that I am bound to be disliked? Is there a law of the universe that says I must be disliked?" and further "How does it follow that just because I talk to someone they will laugh? Am I jumping to negative conclusions and predicting catastrophe?" and "How is thinking like this helping me to get a date?" Now, having disputed my unhelpful and irrational thoughts I can replace them with more helpful and rational thoughts such as "I am a likeable person, many people have found me attractive and easy to talk to. If I don't ask I'll never know. If I hold on to my old unhelpful thoughts it will mean that I'll have a lonely life."

 

Rational thinking is hardly a new idea but if we practice it our confidence increases as our lives become a lot less stressful and far more enjoyable.

If you would like to know more about confidence see the page on self-efficacy here

"If you are distressed by an external thing, it is not this thing which disturbs you, but your own judgement about it. And it is in your power to wipe out that judgement now."

                                                                                                                 Marcus Aurelius

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